Flirting in German – helpful phrases to get flirty

Flirting in German – helpful phrases to get flirty

by Katharina Dittmar

Updated November 7, 2022

We’ve all been there, whether it’s been flirting with the boy in your local shop, or admiring a stranger afar. Trying to get someone’s attention and flirt can sometimes be tricky! Let’s go through some flirty phrases in German.

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How do you express your feelings in German?

Have you ever had butterflies in your belly? – “Hattest du schon einmal Schmetterlinge im Bauch?” is a very common term in various languages – also in German – to describe that you are in love, or you fancy someone. 

Have you ever been head over heels in love? – “Warst du schon einmal Hals über Kopf verliebt?”

Or at least have had the hots for someone – “Warst du schon einmal scharf auf jemanden?”

But didn’t know how to get the attention of this person or how to break the ice? – “Wusstest du nicht, wie du das Eis brechen solltest?”

Guide on how to flirt in German

German love vocabulary

  • to charm someone –jemanden bezaubern
  • to take the first step- jemanden beaubern
  • Would you like to go for coffee sometime? Hättest du Lust, mal auf einen Kaffee zu gehen?
  • love sickness- Liebeskummer
  • To turn somebody turn really quickly – einen Korb bekommen order geben

Start flirting in German

Actually, it’s not that difficult to chat someone up, most of the time – at least in German – the simplest way is the best:

  • “Hallo! / Hi! Wie geht’s?”  – Hello! / Hi! How are you! Is always a good place to start.
  • “Hey du! Wie geht’s?” In case you are to break the ice, or start a conversation via WhatsApp also works just fine.

Don’t worry, in Germany, it’s no problem at all to take the first step – “den ersten Schritt machen”. You don’t have to wait around for a shy guy, go ahead!

Regardless of whether you are a man or a woman don’t be too straightforward and give the other person a chance to get to know you or they might turn you down really quickly. – “Einen Korb bekommen oder geben.” This is a way to express being turned down by someone or to turn someone down.

Most of you will know that’s not a nice feeling at all, and if you were really into the person it even might end up in some good old love sickness – “Liebeskummer”.

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What to say after the first line

So, what to do after the first “Hallo! Wie geht’s?”

Ask something or think of something that catches your eye regarding the other person. If it’s online, maybe you read something interesting in the profile of the person, about their hobbies, etc. Or if you are in a bar or a club compliment the person about their dancing style. Just nothing too cheesy – kitschig, and best to be honest. Germans definitely like honesty!

If you were able to avoid “eine Abfuhr zu bekommen” – to be brushed off, it’s totally fine to ask the person if they would like to go for drinks or a coffee. This is not your classic German pick up line, it’s just pure honesty:

  • “Hättest du Lust ‘mal auf einen Kaffee zu gehen?” – Would you like to go for coffee sometime?
  • “Hättest du Lust ‘mal auf ein Bier zu gehen?” – Would you like to go for a beer sometime?

If they say yes, go ahead and ask for their phone number, if they don’t give it to you, you already know that it didn’t go THAT well:  

  • “Gibst du mir deine Telefonnummer, damit wir was ausmachen können?” – Can I have your number, so that we can make plans?
  • Or if you want to be a little more cautious or are afraid they will say no, offer them yours: “Soll ich dir meine Telefonnummer geben und du meldest dich bei mir?” – Should I give you my number, so that you can text or call me?
  • Once set up a date you just have to look forward to seeing the person! “Ich freue mich auf dich!”

How to break up a date in German…

And what to do if it doesn’t work out, because your date was a total disaster?

“Den Laufpass geben.” – To break up with someone is never easy.

Actually, I don’t think there is an excellent way to do that. But whatever you plan to say, do it face-to-face and be honest and direct.

It’s important to be clear that you want to break up, so don’t beat around the bush. – “Rede nicht um den heißen Brei herum!” You DON’T want them to come back!

So, what do you think? Are you ready to flirt in German?

Whatever you do, don’t worry too much! Always remember, mostly it’s about the fun “jemanden zu bezaubern” – to charm someone.  

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